We look at attendance policies from a parent’s point of view, with Sammy White.
I never thought I’d be “that” parent, the one who pulls their kids out of school during term time. But the system is just not keeping up with real life anymore.
It started subtly. During the first lockdown, my eldest (then in EYFS), was completely abandoned by the school. No work, no check-ins, nothing. I became their educator, crafting wonderful learning experiences myself. It was a stark realisation: school was a tool, but not the only, or even the primary, source of their learning. Yet, I still held onto the ideal of 100% attendance.
Fast forward five years, and my youngest, who hadn’t missed a single day, was denied a 100% attendance certificate because of a two-week sick note after surgery. A necessary medical recovery, authorised by a consultant and approved by the school as an absence, still excluded them from receiving that certificate. It was a cruel reminder that the system prioritises a flawed metric over the health and wellbeing of a child.
These two moments, over five years, solidified my shift. The system felt rigid, unforgiving. So, when a family party required a four-hour drive, I made a pragmatic choice to leave at 1pm on Friday instead of 6am on Saturday. Two hours of school missed. The response? A stern letter, a denial of permission and a clear escalation path to legal action. It felt incredibly heavy for missing just two hours. It screamed, “Children should be in school!”
Are school attendance policies outdated?
It’s not just my family. The school itself has an attendance problem, a collective low. The head recently sent a letter urging us to “try harder”, advising that medical appointments be scheduled outside school hours. Now this is where the system truly shows its age. I remember a time when you could call the doctor, get options, and fit appointments around school. Now? Online forms, a text three weeks later with an appointment four weeks out, no choices, no flexibility. And a similarly stern text from them, mirroring the headteacher’s tone, about being removed from the list if you miss it.
The current world requires adaptability; schools however, seem stuck in a bygone era, unable to support the realities of modern families.
It’s not that parents don’t value education, it’s that the system doesn’t seem to value the complex lives of the families it serves.
And so, more and more of us are becoming “that” parent, not out of disregard, but out of a desperate need to find a balance that the school system isn’t providing.
Adopting an approach that supports parents and carers
My journey is an example of the growing disconnect, not from a lack of value for education, but from a system that often feels inflexible and out of sync with modern family life. The emphasis on 100% attendance metrics, while well-intentioned, can inadvertently penalise families for unavoidable circumstances like illness, medical appointments or important family time. This often leaves parents feeling judged and alienated rather than supported. We can make a real difference by adopting a more empathetic and flexible approach.
Two key considerations for better support:
- Circumstances matter. While attendance is important, a strict 100% attendance target shouldn’t outweigh a child’s health and wellbeing. A child who is genuinely ill and recovering at home isn’t “missing out” in a detrimental way by being absent; they’re healing.
- Communicate with compassion. Choose your words carefully. Instead of stern letters and threats of legal action for minor absences, opt for supportive communication. A simple, “We noticed [child’s name] was absent; we hope everything is OK and are here to support their return,” can go a long way.
Summary
Ultimately, by embracing a more empathetic and flexible approach, we, as educators, can bridge the gap between the traditional school system and the realities of modern family life. This doesn’t just support individual children and their families; it cultivates a more positive, trusting and collaborative school community, where every child feels valued and understood as an individual, not just a statistic on an attendance sheet.
So, how might you integrate some of these supportive approaches into your daily interactions with families?
Resources
If you want to learn more about how you can help families with attendance (and about communicating with parents in general), there are some excellent resources that can support you:
- School-Home Support (SHS) works with schools to address persistent absenteeism by focusing on whole-family support. It offers valuable free training like its Attendance Bitesize Course.
- The Education Endowment Foundation (EEF) has a Working with Parents to Support Children’s Learning guidance report, which highlights the positive impact of strong parent-school relationships and offers practical advice to implement good practice.
Author
Sammy White, learning evangelist at Glean, is a champion for innovation in education. Recognised in the 2023 Tech Women 100 and ranking number 3 in the Global Thought Leaders in Education 2024. Sammy believes technology is a powerful tool to personalise learning and ignite student potential.
